Two years ago I started one in my home as a way for young women to have a place to meet, talk, laugh, and pray together. One night a sweet beautiful confident sister said to me.
"Why would I go online to find the man God has for me? If God has someone for me, I don't have to put myself out there to find him. God will bring him to me." My friend's resolve was firm. Although she was yearning for companionship, she had rather be alone than look online for love. I listened carefully and neutrally to her point of view. At that time, I hadn't met my love yet so I had nothing to say. I knew that I wasn't wholly against online dating. Now that I have some experience with it, I would encourage women to try it ( with accountability). Sure you might meet a few wackos but that can happen anywhere (even in the church)!
Two years ago I met my best friend and my love online. On this blog I will call him Slim. In upcoming blogs I will write in detail the process (sometimes joyous, sometimes painful) of mine and Slim's friendship, dating, and engagement process. Slim, like me, is a slightly older Christian person. We both approached online dating hopefully, prayerfully, and with open hearts and by the grace of God, He lead us to each other.
Tips if you're considering online dating:
- PRAY!!!! I need to be candid here and publicly repent of a weak prayer-life. It has gotten stronger since I've been with Slim because he pushes me to pray, pray some more, and to pray again. If you are trusting God for a life-partner, your desire must be intertwined with a rich and dense prayer time concerning your need for a husband. Every time I went on an online dating site I prayed first. I prayed that God would protect me from a fake Christian who was on the site to find a good girl. I prayed I would not be seduced or persuaded solely based on a man's looks or his wallet. I prayed for wisdom.
- I remember praying: "Lord, I believe that you can use this website as an instrument to bring the husband you have for me to me. Please bring someone who loves you and who can love me to me. In Jesus' name. Amen."
- CREATE A SHORT GENUINE PROFILE. Your profile should give the reader a good nutshell understanding of who you are. Start with a friendly greeting. Don't state your name right away, list a few interests and personal goals and make sure that you list what you're looking for in a man as well. Make sure to top it off with three or four very flattering pictures of yourself that are not in black and white. Ask friends to rate the pics or take some others of you that would get a good response. The truth is- Men are visual creatures! Your pictures have to do you justice in order to get good responses.
- This is for free. DON'T BE AFRAID TO DATE A SLIGHTLY YOUNGER MAN. Younger men come with less baggage and a Christian man around 25-29 years old is seriously considering getting married. Hey... you never know in what form (or age) the Lord may bring your husband so be open to someone younger than yourself.
- USE THE WEBSITE. Only give someone your number after you have corresponded with them through the websites email and you feel comfortable giving them your telephone number. There have been times that I was pressured to give my telephone number before I was comfortable giving it and each time I did, I regretted it. The guy either turned out to be a jerk or just someone I didn't want to talk to.
- DATE! After you have spoken with the guy on the phone and you feel comfortable talking with him, meet up with him for a daytime pressure free fun date. This can be anything from a museum stroll to something more service oriented like volunteering together for a special cause.
- GIVE IT A CHANCE! Don't allow past experiences to effect the way you respond to a new person. Give them the benefit of the doubt and practice grace and forgiveness if he seems a little awkward or if he was a little too quiet or weird. Slim and I went out the first time and I thought he was a quiet weirdo. My mother insisted that I go out with him a second time and give the man a chance. Now, he is the love of my life. The second date was all ease friendliness and compatibiltiy. We held hands the entire time and I couldn't get over how much I trusted him and how quickly it happened.
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