Slim seemed quite certain of me very early in our dating. He would often say to me E... (he calls me E), I prayed for years for a wife and God has blessed me with you. He always made it clear to me that he wasn't interested in a girlfriend (at least not for a very long period of time). Slim was interested in getting himself a wife.
His certainity about me and bold proclamations made me a little afraid of him. What if he's a wacko? I could end up with a wacko. Would God allow that to happen to me? I sought a lot of counsel concerning Slim and I prayed a lot. I have always loved the Scripture of Proverbs 11:14; "In the multitude of counselors, there is safety." I have based my life around following this particular principle, and it has kept me safe so far. Why stop now?
Slim and I went out on a few dates, but after the fourth month I broke it off. Fear I guess. Uncertainity. I felt like Slim was a powerful magnet. Sweet, goofy, funny, charming, full of integrity and loves the Lord. However I was scared of him, he was too powerful in his resolve concerning me- so I ran.
Following my mother's wise advice, I asked Slim could we still be friends. After six months of being his friend; talking on the phone with him and just caring about him, I began to wonder why did I break things off with him in the first place. I began to yearn for the compassion, friendship and love he would give me. Slim and I really were very good friends. After six months, I asked Slim could we try "us" again; he thought that was a good idea.
I would like to tell you that after I said this to Slim, things were peachy keen and we had no further bumps on our road to engagement, but that would be a lie. I was still uncertain about Slim. I wondered was there some magical person out there that was better. I know I hurt him during these times. I remember saying while laughing- "Now, don't go and buy me any rings." I was laughing; Slim somber and hurt. He wanted to make me his wife, he wanted to buy me a ring and felt defeated when I asked him not to. We were together for about eight months when finally IT happened!
One night, Slim called me and said that I had one week to make up my mind. To tell him, he was the man for me and that he could buy me an engagement ring. If I didn't give him an answer in week was over. IT was an ultimatum.I tried to fight it but I couldn't any longer. He had put his foot down. I wrote down all the pros of being with Slim. When I went to write down the cons, I couldn't think of anything and left the computer screen blank. I called Slim a day before my one week deadline and told him that yes, if he asked me, I'd marry him and that he could buy a ring. We were engaged officially about a month after that.
It's okay to be uncertain but sometimes with relationships, one must make a decision. We must know that the steps of a righteous person are ordered by the Lord. If a man loves Jesus and he loves you than the rest the two you can work out together as a team. This is what Slim and I have decided to do. Two months ago I got engaged to a beautiful, hard-working, honest Christian man who lives out of town. But two months ago this s same Christian man turned a free-spirited travel diva into a laser focused woman whose life now has direction and a desire for local ministry and the community. I also have a deep desire for create a loving Christian home where hubby and kiddies are happy and loving Jesus.
Slim turned an uncertain woman to a woman of faith and trust and direction. Finding a companion will have that kind of effect.
I hope you enjoy this blog. I will try to write more about my journey as a slightly older Christian woman at least twice a week. Hasta luego and Que Dios te bendiga.
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