God has truly blessed Slim and I in that we are best friends despite living a two hour drive away from each other. Our relationship has been built on old fashioned patience, phone calls, and letters along with the new school methods of texting and emails.
Once we were engaged, Slim and I knew that we would need counseling. We are both in our mid-thirties; we want to get married once and never again. Divorce for us is not an option. In order to give our love a fighting chance we decided that it would be best to sit down with a professional who could give us pointers on how we could build a marriage that would last a lifetime.
As devout Christians, we knew that seeking help from the church was our first choice. Within the church we found licensed marriage counselors who sprinkle God's grace and His Word on all their counseling sessions. It was so refreshing to find this type of support.
Fact: Slim and I believe the Word of God ( the Bible) has the answer to all of life's problems.
We sat down with *Pastor Bill who had counseled dozens of couples before us and had over twenty years of counseling experience. Pastor Bill told us that none of the couples he had married has divorced. "I never married anyone I haven't counseled" he told us. "I have to stand before God and I want to make sure I'm giving them everything they need to have a healthy marriage. If I didn't counsel ya' how would I know that!" Slim and I were glad to have someone like him. He is counseling us for free too.
Slim and I sit with Pastor Bill whenever Slim is in town, which is not often, but because of the relocation issue we were able to have a long engagement (11 months!) Our hope was that our long engagement would allow us to complete counseling sessions, eight in all. But the truth is, things often don't go as planned and Slim and I have not met with Pastor Bill like we would have liked for various reasons ( plans were cancelled due to work hour changes, sicknesses, emergencies, or just forgot to plan a meeting during one of Slim's visits).
To supplement the visits we have had with the counselor, Slim and I have done lots of "homework". One homework assignment we were given was to read Boundaries by Drs. Cloud and Townsend, Love and Respect, and anything Dave Ramsey- to get ourselves as a couple on the same financial track.
Love and Respect was a doosy of a book and will need its own blog post to explain adequately. Expect more about it in a future post.
The other two books have been equally invaluable to us. Boundaries more-so for Slim, who in his good nature, has a difficult time saying no. Totally Money Makeover, by Dave Ramsey for me, because I am an impulse shopper and I have a hard time saying no to spending money on things I want.
Since reading Dave Ramsey's book, I have become more focused and driven on getting rid of debt. I have been consistently paying down student loans and my credit score went up 40 points! Slim has been very proud of me and we talk about money concerning plans to pay off debt, save, and to give openly and often. We also talk about respect in a marriage, how we can properly love and meet each others emotional needs to the best of our human ability, and how we can serve God together and live happily. We talk through disagreements in future plans, child rearing, and how can we work on forgiving each other quickly when offended.
I'm very thankful for premarital counseling. It is teaching me how to better love my man and make a relationship that will last a lifetime.
Note to all readers: even if you don't get to attend every session of premarital counseling, be sure to still do the work the counselor recommended. Don't leave the office without putting a plan into place on how what was discussed can be implemented after you and your spouse-to-be leave. Slim and I tried to make sure that we did just this. The best part is, we have decided to continue counseling once we are married.
Once we were engaged, Slim and I knew that we would need counseling. We are both in our mid-thirties; we want to get married once and never again. Divorce for us is not an option. In order to give our love a fighting chance we decided that it would be best to sit down with a professional who could give us pointers on how we could build a marriage that would last a lifetime.
As devout Christians, we knew that seeking help from the church was our first choice. Within the church we found licensed marriage counselors who sprinkle God's grace and His Word on all their counseling sessions. It was so refreshing to find this type of support.
Fact: Slim and I believe the Word of God ( the Bible) has the answer to all of life's problems.
We sat down with *Pastor Bill who had counseled dozens of couples before us and had over twenty years of counseling experience. Pastor Bill told us that none of the couples he had married has divorced. "I never married anyone I haven't counseled" he told us. "I have to stand before God and I want to make sure I'm giving them everything they need to have a healthy marriage. If I didn't counsel ya' how would I know that!" Slim and I were glad to have someone like him. He is counseling us for free too.
Slim and I sit with Pastor Bill whenever Slim is in town, which is not often, but because of the relocation issue we were able to have a long engagement (11 months!) Our hope was that our long engagement would allow us to complete counseling sessions, eight in all. But the truth is, things often don't go as planned and Slim and I have not met with Pastor Bill like we would have liked for various reasons ( plans were cancelled due to work hour changes, sicknesses, emergencies, or just forgot to plan a meeting during one of Slim's visits).
To supplement the visits we have had with the counselor, Slim and I have done lots of "homework". One homework assignment we were given was to read Boundaries by Drs. Cloud and Townsend, Love and Respect, and anything Dave Ramsey- to get ourselves as a couple on the same financial track.
Love and Respect was a doosy of a book and will need its own blog post to explain adequately. Expect more about it in a future post.
The other two books have been equally invaluable to us. Boundaries more-so for Slim, who in his good nature, has a difficult time saying no. Totally Money Makeover, by Dave Ramsey for me, because I am an impulse shopper and I have a hard time saying no to spending money on things I want.
Since reading Dave Ramsey's book, I have become more focused and driven on getting rid of debt. I have been consistently paying down student loans and my credit score went up 40 points! Slim has been very proud of me and we talk about money concerning plans to pay off debt, save, and to give openly and often. We also talk about respect in a marriage, how we can properly love and meet each others emotional needs to the best of our human ability, and how we can serve God together and live happily. We talk through disagreements in future plans, child rearing, and how can we work on forgiving each other quickly when offended.
I'm very thankful for premarital counseling. It is teaching me how to better love my man and make a relationship that will last a lifetime.
Note to all readers: even if you don't get to attend every session of premarital counseling, be sure to still do the work the counselor recommended. Don't leave the office without putting a plan into place on how what was discussed can be implemented after you and your spouse-to-be leave. Slim and I tried to make sure that we did just this. The best part is, we have decided to continue counseling once we are married.
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